'I've got a lot of problems with you people and now you are going to hear about it.'----Frank Costanza
December 23 is a great date from television history. The iconic TV show Seinfeld created it's own holiday..Festivus. Festivus captures the drama of getting together with your family at Christmas, without the exchanging of gifts, decorations (Frank found tinsel 'distracting') or spirit originally intended for the day. So, in honor of Festivus and Frank Costanza (who is still trying to convince Mr. Kruger is it a real holiday), I am going to air some of my grievances/issues I have with golf.
1. Slow Play--We here in the US have made an art-form out of slow play. Dr. David Cook encourages golfers that each shot should be like 'painting a Picasso' in their mind before they play it. Well...Picasso would finish some of his artwork before some golfers take the club back. And I am not just talking about the casual, weekend players. I see it in college golf...perhaps the worst offenders. Players mark 1 ft putts, click rangefinders 6 times to get a yardage (they finally get it to the flag, but they still don't what it is to cover the deep bunker in front of it), wait to play their 2nd shot on a par 5 even though they have very little chance to reach the green, walk at the pace of a sloth during rounds...I could go on! One of the reason I love playing the UK is the expected pace of play is to take no more than 4 hours. Last summer, the slowest round I played there was probably 3 1/2 hours in our group. Everyone in the US, from professionals, down through the college ranks, to the weekend hacker can speed up pace of play. We are trying to bring more people into the game...seeing rounds of golf take 5+ hours is not helping bring players into the game in a world where schedules are hectic and recreational time is at a minimum.
2. The Imbiciles Who Have to Yell After Every Shot on TV--I am so tired of hearing 'Babba Booey (sorry if it is misspelled...I really don't care), 'Mashed Potatoes' and other inane chirps from spectators. Are you so low in self-esteem that you need to hear yourself say these non-sequitur things? Of course...your blood-alcohol level may have something to do with it also. Either way, to all idiots out there who do this...STOP! Go show your idiocy in other ways or just do it in the privacy of your own home during Christmas/Festivus with your family who tolerates you (at least you think) despite it.
3. Television Coverage of Golf Events--It seems no matter how Phil Mickelson or Tiger Woods are playing at a tour event, TV cameras have to show us their every shot. I am sometimes surprised that we don't get shots of them slipping into the Port-a-Potty to relieve themselves. Thank goodness we have some new stars rising on the PGA Tour...but no matter what is happening at the top of the leaderboard with Rory, Jordan, Dustin or Rickie...we still more of Tiger and Phil 10 shots behind and struggling.
These are just a few of my grievances regarding golf...if you disagree, we can always move our discussion to the 'Feats of Strength.' Happy Festivus!